If it's not one thing...

It seems if it's not one thing it's another. 

I came to the conclusion last week that I needed to pray a different way.  I had been praying for the Lord to help me find a job.  When I prayed this way my intent was Lord put me in a full time, 40 hours a week, good pay with benefits position; well it was time to change that prayer.  My new prayer became Lord help me adjust and thrive in the role you want me in, if you want me at home help me be productive and successful, if you want me to substitute teach only help me be successful and give me favor.  It was Wednesday night that I prayed this prayer.  Not an hour after I prayed this prayer I was on a new path.  By the next morning I was a co-teacher of a 4 year old pre-school class at a reputable local church.  In this position I will be doing regular teaching duties such as lesson plans and following curriculum.  How excited I am!  I get to have lots of practice for a regular teaching position but make my mistakes with precious 4 year olds where they will love me anyway instead of with 7th and 8th graders will will notice.  I also am working 2 days a week about 100 yards from where my daughter goes to school.  I still get to volunteer at her school and continue with my PTO work.  God is good.  I do have to remember to continue to lean on the Lord and let him provide for us.  It would be so easy to say "Ok God I'll take it from here" but I don't want to do that because look how far he has brought me!

Ok so light at the end of this tunnel proved not to be a train.  Well the light at the end of the personal life tunnel seems to have disappeared.  I don't fell like I am on the same page as anyone; my husband nor my support system.  At this point I just feel the need to deal with my personal stuff by myself.  I guess all I can really do right now is pray, when all I really want to do right now is jump in the car and take off.  Leave it all behind me and head to the beach.  It's easy to find God in the ocean, I guess I need to find him in this personal situation.  Maybe I was so job focused that the other stuff fell out of focus. 

Lord help me to be a peace maker and not a drama maker!