Vacuum

Have you ever met someone that is a vacuum? Someone who sucks the life right out of you? I guess it doesn't have to be a person, it could be a life sucking situation.

One of my biggest faults is not being able to let go of things.  I let them settle in and haunt me.  That is apparently what I have done once again.  I am holding on to the situation and in turn harbouring unforgivness.  Well what I find out today is, that evidently is what this particular life sucker is counting on...one of us holding on to the situation so she can once again suck the life out of us all.  I was told today not to be the cell that she latches onto. By holding on to unforgivness then there is a very good chance I could be that. I refuse to be that.  I refuse to be the cell the cancer latches on to!

I guess it's time to build my God shelf, because this situation and another are two that I will never understand or get past without divine help. So here I am...gonna build myself a shelf and lay it there for the Lord to clean off...then I'm gonna build a bridge and leave it on the other side.  I don't expect it to be easy, you can't build a bridge or a shelf without a little sweat.

There is a song that says you can't run carrying suitcases, so God here are my suitcases...I am ready to take off without them.

The Poison Apple

Snow White took a bite of the poison apple and fell into a deep sleep. Poison come in ALL shapes and forms.  The ammonia I mop the floor with is great, the bleach I clean the sink with is even better...but mix them together and they become deadly.  I can't live without chocolate, it brings me great joy, but if one of my dogs was to get a hold of it, it could have disastrous consequences.  Poison comes in all shapes and forms...even human.

As the "Proverbial Wife" I should love and pray for my enemies.  Ok...umm yeah not there yet.  Where I am at is trying to keep an eye on her under the pretext of looking out for my family.  At times though it is like rubber necking at the scene of a horrible car crash - no pun intended- I can't seem to let it go.  Maybe it is because of the horrible things the she is saying. Lies meant to attack and instigate. If we (or most of us) have let it go why on earth can't she.  If she is as "damaged and hurt" (and I use those terms very loosely) as she says she is then wouldn't she just want to let it go. After I have been hurt all I want to do is put it behind me.

I guess what I don't understand is the mindset of a person who intentionally sets out to damage and tear apart a family all the while claiming it's because she wants one of her own...no what she really wanted to do was replace a key family member.  Throughout her time with us she seeped her poison into every crack she could find.  Any small minute fissure she saw she did her best to pour her poison in and make it split.  She is still trying to create havoc...

I need to let it go...turn my rubber neck around and worry about driving my own car before I get in an accident...easier said then done.  But I will work on it...she is not my concern.